Best Chuck Norris Facts & Jokes
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had missed calls from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has no shadow… nothing’s stupid enough to follow Chuck Norris.
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia,fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Chuck Norris doesn’t call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn’t dead it is just afraid to move.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
Chuck Norris died years ago, Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet.
If you rate this roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber’s ass.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck’s gas tank as a joke….that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris….the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
When the president pushes the big red button Chuck Norris’s cell phone rings
Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake…….. After three days of pain and agony ………………the rattle snake died
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards
Chuck Norris doesn’t need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.